Procrastination is one of the best ways to sink a project (ranked right up there with fear and confusion) and I deal with it all of the time. Sometimes it’s me. Sometimes it’s them- but no matter whose fault it is, it needs to be dealt with.
Let the pleasure of the moment be as great as the pleasure of going.
I'm just going start to put a blanket rant discalimer over this entire post. I can asure you that this is more of me processing in writing and will lack explanitory power.
If you have read Spencer's future page you will have read this:
Where I came from: After 19 years sitting in church pews as bible memorizing, team leading, small group teaching, applogetics nut prodestent (Think baptisits meets evangelical presbyterian) I came to the well researched, theorouly dicused and quite painful conclusion that I had been been wrong.
I'm now tempted to go find a timeline graphic to insert but that might be over kill.
When I was new to highschool I noticited the plethera of controdions of in the bible. After reading the quite extensive explinations writeen by many thoulogines attempting to explain away these controdictions I was not convinced. This was the first chink in the perverable spirtual armer.
I will skip the littlerly hunderes of hours reading, talking to peers, teachers, theologins, pastors and even the occasional priest about my misgivings and instead move diretly to my formutioan of the problem.
Here is how it breaks down in my head:
- Is there a God?
- If yes: Which one?
- If no: What now?
With this layout in my head, I started despreatly trying to find solid evidence of the existance of a God. After what I would can only describe as a frantic, intesive, multi year research project I came to the concusion that while there is evidince on both sides of this argument it's rather tit-for-tat or in non colouqalismm terms as even as can be expected.
The realisation of this equilibarim of evidnce brought a moment of relaife as I relized that I could make a dision myself and fofill my epistemic duity and both sides required some about of faith. This confortingn noution last for somthing less then a minutre before I remembered all of my reading into my intate, pervasive and extream human, social and even genitic human biaes twoard the belife in God.
From my presective there is clear evidence that I am biased heavly twoard the belife in God. So if the evidence apperes to be nutral without taking my bais into account it seems only reasonable to assume that the evidnce is actualy in favor of there not bing a God.
How do I engage with an undefended heart?
I'm building a website and listening to the Relevant playlist on Spotify and the song “Us For Them” comes on by Gungor and I thought '” I should add this song to a playlist so if I turn back to a Rob Bell like faith I will have a playlist started. A relationship based on finding comfort in religion and not necessarily believing it is true at my core."
Here Are Some Things I Watched
I have given up on adding one video at a time and will instead be linking to a monthly playlist.
What I Did Today:
- Hammock Time
- Geo-Cashing With Nate
- Watched A UM Lecture With Nate On Embed Systems
What I Did Today:
- I'm not going to go for a degree in computer science.
- "Da" in german translates "Yes", Or "I'm listening"
- Can my well being be independent of anothers?
- If you don't need an excuse to feel bad you don't need an excuse to feel good.
Some Pictures I Took Today
I have taken to adding the videos I watch on YouTube to a monthly playlist. When I hit the end of of the month I take a minute to review what I watched. It's shocking to me how much this little prompt helps double my recall and solidify what I learned.
Here is what I was watching in June 2017:
I've also found reviewing youtube history with friends over the dinner table to be a great conversation starter.
What I Watched Today
What I Did Today:
- Lunch At Lyns on the Patio
- Bought Small TV off Craiglist Guy
- Coffee At Proper Cup
- Made Siphon Coffee
- Talked To Zach Martin
- Watched Youtube Backlog with Paul
What I Learned Today:
- Welcome myself back home to my body during meditation.
- In the first 10 munites of two strangers meeting they will make on average 3 lies.
- Lions Breath In Yoga
Some Photos I Took Today:
What I Watched:
What I Did Today:
- Decided not to go to yoga.
- Luxuriated on my yoga matt in the morning sun while drinking bulletproof coffee and listening to Onbeing.
- Went to Merge at Cornerstone
- Read a story to the class. Library story time style
- Talking about death penalty.
- Grab lunch with Jorden Robertson at Olgas and talked about the right way to valuate an activity in the context of society.
- Drank a London Fog Latte while working on my Life Management System tasks
- Drove to a parking lot at listened to This American Life for an hour will napping and finding the best way do yoga in my car.
- Chilled at the office for a few hours
- Walked to dinner with Bridget and Eva to round out Yoga teacher training.
Some Thoughts I Had Today:
- A conversations regarding what it means to be a good human in a functional society are good even if they are in a religious environment.
- Pastors who don't spend an hour proof texting to a group of people might be worth listening to.
- If you aren't changing your options often your probably not reading enough. - Chris Winans
- I prefer to listen to the same program live on the radio then to listen to the same program on a podcaset. Even though I lose some control.
- I'm living out of rest of my life.
Some Of The Photos I Took Today:
I'm well aware that I spelled something wrong.
Where I Would Like To Go
It is my onus to make the world a better place by the time I go to bed today. This is why I see my work as a vocation in the original Latin sense of the word with all of its connotations of calling or dare I say purpose.
As I have mentioned in other writings this sentence is a combination of septrate words that all have the correct individual meaning but taken together sound like a poorly worded sales pitch.
I want to participate in an actualizing business development team with rapid and immersive implementation flows.
If I was to exlain this goal in a parapghar story format...
I wake up one moring in my tiny home and after a quick bit to eat I jump in my self driving car and head to the airport. I'm at the airport because each client I work with is in a diffrent part of the world. After a quick flight I land and meet up with the team at our temporay offices that might be describes as minimalist scandivane work space.
We head to the client the next moreing and meet with the board of directors who overviews the problems and turns over all of the data the business has. It's been made clear to them that we get total acesss and there staff supports us in any way needed.
After a latenight review meeting we head to the clients and spend the next two days asking questions, cruching data and testing ideas. While we respect as intatly valuable we do this with little regard to politics, preconcived idea or scarid ideas.
Data collection compleate we retreat back to our tempory office to review the data and being drafting an implimtation plan. This plan offten includes a narrowing of fouce, techinical automations, clarifaction of outbound communicaitons, outsourcing of work, and team changes.
Implimtation plan in hand we spend the last 4 days implmenting the changes in quite agressive format.
Here is a MindMap of the idea:
- Gray Satin
Side Part Style
- Ash Brown - Hair
- Geometric minimalist chic minus the hipster
- Texture > Color
- Causal yet somehow more professional than business casual
- Well cut
- Well executed
- Not designed to draw attention
- Sharp lines
- Not afraid of looking andoruses or flighly powerful feminine
- Brutalist architecture
- Gangster Rebellious - no patches, baggy, tattoos
- Cool Kid - Leather motorcycle jacket
- Not partulay classic
- Tiffany Hasish
- James Viche
- Sara pascoe
- Edna Mode
This book on community building is written by the stellar theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I'v list my major takeaways in this connected blog. Shoutout to Brad Tate for the book recommendation.
- Powerful vocals. Almost yelling.
- I would like to learn to sing like Adam Douglas
- Squash Soup
- Asiago pesto bread
- Monkey Butter Beet
- Sauvignon Blanc
- Malbec wines
- Aspects of my version of a perfect bag:
- Structured. Not a pile of cloth.
- Designed to fit the things in it.
- Has a clasp.
- Edna Mode
One Off Goals:
- I want to feel present at pease and in a flow which is independent of happenings