Self Validating

I Read: 

  • - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201407/self-validation
    • Level 1 Be Present  
    • Level 2 Accurate Reflection
    • Level 3: Guessing
    • Level 4: Validating by History
    •  Level 5: Normalizing
    •  Level 6: Radical Genuineness
  • http://www.innerbonding.com/show-article/2742/self-validation-how-to-validate-yourself.html
  • https://www.mindfulnessmuse.com/dialectical-behavior-therapy/how-to-give-yourself-the-validation-you-crave
  • https://blog.trello.com/self-validation-secret-to-limitless-motivation
  • https://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/9-healthy-ways-to-validate-yourself-lauren-stahl/
    • Ask your "inner child" what it needs. 
    • Plan ahead. If you know you are going to be seeking (validation or an experience) at a point in the future you might anticipate it and plan what you are going to do. 
    • Gratitude covers over a multitude of short comings 

My Thoughts: 

  • When I most need to self-validate it is not logical reasoning I need but a commpsinate heart that listens to what is needed in the moment and self-grants that need. 
  • Granting internal desires is not negatively selfish.  It is not a failure to have a desire and grant self-grant it.
  • Steps
    • Being aware when I am seeking validation or stimulus.
    • Becoming aware of what I am seeking.
    • Not judging myself for seeking. 
    • Realizing the underlying expires am longing for. 
    • Remembering that I can grant myself a similar experience to what I am seeking. 
    • Grant myself the experience for only a moment
    • Realize that I live life moment by moment and don't need a 30 min solution. but a solution for this moment. 
    • Remember that a moment is not understandable to the thoughtful brain but rather the underlying part of me. 
  •  

Winter Activities List

A short community sorced list of things to do during the winter. 

Outdoor

  • Hockey

  • Pondskateing

  • Ice Fishing

  • Snow Shoeing

  • Cross Country Skiing

  • Snow Camping

  • Ice Carveing

  • Tobogganing at Kensington

Had a Cost

  • Jazz Club

  • Wally Ball (Hamburg Fitness, Vollyball meets racketball)

  • Glowin the dark put put golf

  • Mount Brighton

  • D’Escape Mission

  • Henry Ford Museum

  • The Moth

  • Laser tag

  • Comedie exchange chicago

  • Flaming Cheese detroit

  • skeet shooting Kensington

  • MSU Dairy Store

  • Comedy night winter

  • detroit opera house

  • Disco Night club http://stayinalivenovi.com/

  • Entra Slam http://www.entreslam.com/

Free

  • Lectures Colleges

  • Dungons

  • LARPing night

  • Sister Act Night

  • Vist Cathloic Church

  • Visit Jewish synagogue

  • In home comedy night

  • Underground railroad detroit

  • UofM Music

  • Snow tubing

  • Plymouth ice show

  • Failure Lab http://failure-lab.com/

  • People Mover

  • Grand Rapids Press

  • Livingston Press

  • Hartland Pool

  • Game Night (Risk, Monopoly, Poker, Game night serices)

  • Ping Pong tournaments

  • Book Club

  • Wood Carving

  • Painting Class

  • Cooking Class

  • Watch Trial

  • Shooting

  • Concealed weapons class

  • Baking Class

  • Candle Making

  • Soap Making

  • Home Depot Class

  • Sewing Class

 

Christmas

  • Covenant Hills otisville horse drawn slay

  • Browsers Christmas store

 

Ann Arbor

Law Quadrangle

Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum

 

Sprint Science - Flow

  • I'm not flowing if 
    • Picking at work
    • Spending more time picking what task or email I am going to do next then actually doing it.
    • Not only am I only do this take I am only doing this part of this task
  • Blocks To Flowing:
    • Being held up by a machine. Blocking my progress while loading
    • Thought loop
    • Over consuming media
    • Interruptions
    • Over-focused on the outcome
    • Worry, fear, or anxiety
    • When I feel rushed it leaded to a clamped feeling (this is more a personal note) 
    • Grazing at meals
    • Starting the day off with a negative attitude 
    • Working with low-quality products or the wrong tools
    • Doing something that somebody else should be doing 
    • Bouncing between tasks. Either with my hands or mentally 
    •  Intentionally ignore my inner voice
    • Trying to alter, suppress or control or change my inner experience
    • Owning things that I shouldn't
    • Wasting

I Feel Like I Am Flowing When: 

  • In my body when doing mindful flowing yoga. 
  • Bowing and fully accepting the current moment. 
  • Practicing Mantras
  • Reading thoughtful books. 
  • Meditating 
  • I am around people smarter than me. 
  • Organizing or Planning
    • Creating Systems
    • Creating Something Sustainable
    • Developing a strategy.  

 

Ways That Help Me Feel In The Flow: 

  • Drinking Water 
  • Inviting flow
  • Learning about something I care about
  • Seeing progress
  • Breathing fully or hardly breathing
  • Prepping the space: 
    • Stillness  
    • Sunlight  
    • Sunrises and sunsets
    • Being pushed hard
  • Listing what I am not doing
  • Having a time-limited goal and "racing" toward it. Not to the point of being stressed.
  • Effectiveness compounds over sprints.   
  • Ensuring resources used fully. 
  • Teaching
  • Public speaking where I am helping others, challenging thoughts, doing something that I am naturally good at

Other Thoughts On Flowing; 

k3ijREReqey1oYQeNZwT_Flow Chart 2v (1).jpg
  • There seems to be a connection between the sacred and flow.
  • Decision Fatigue:  Decision fatigue and information overload: Emails, facebook, and social media are productivity suicide for me. They require me to sort so much information and to make so may conscious and subconscious decisions that I drain my brain power very quickly. Yet I do it. I think that i do it because I am trying to become so burnt out that I feel alright taking a break.
  • Flowing seems to be either about only finding and fixing problems or totally accepting how things are. There is really no middle ground for me. 
  • “My goal is to try to create what Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who defined flow, calls ‘autotelic jobs,’” says Maxwell. “I have a quote of his here: ‘The more a job inherently resembles a game — with variety, appropriate and flexible challenges, clear goals, and immediate feedback — the more enjoyable it will be regardless of the worker’s level of development.’” Firstround

People Who Are Enjoyable To Be Around

Charismatic people might have some underlying similarities. Here are some off of the top of my head. 

  • Likes to goof around. 
  • Physically fit. 
  • Passionate about something. 
  • Makes progress toward a meaningful goal. 
  • Good at listening. 
    • Present
    • Good eye contact. 
  • Has a good story. 
  • Has a feature that makes them stand out.
    • Deep voice
    • Skin color
  • Live life open. 
  • Their is an element of scarity with them. 

How Do I Want To Feel

The question of "How do I want to feel" has served to be better than the more common question of "What do I want to do". 

I want to feel: 

  • Equanimity | At Peace
  • Connected | operating out of a deeper space, loved, not alone, a sense of being, interdepended on all sentient beings. 
  • Flowing | doing what I am meant to do, not feeling guilty, productive, making meaningful progress, receiving
  • At Home | able to be open. 

Expansion Of Spencer's Career Goals

Where I Would Like To Go

It is my onus to make the world a better place by the time I go to bed today. This is why I see my work as a vocation in the original Latin sense of the word with all of its connotations of calling or dare I say purpose.

As I have mentioned in other writings this sentence is a combination of septrate words that all have the correct individual meaning but taken together sound like a poorly worded sales pitch. 

I want to participate in an actualizing business development team with rapid and immersive implementation flows.

If I was to exlain this goal in a parapghar story format...

I wake up one moring in my tiny home and after a quick bit to eat I jump in my self driving car and head to the airport. I'm at the airport because each client I work with is in a diffrent part of the world. After a quick flight I land and meet up with the team at our temporay offices that might be describes as minimalist scandivane work space.

We head to the client the next moreing and meet with the board of directors who overviews the problems and turns over all of the data the business has. It's been made clear to them that we get total acesss and there staff supports us in any way needed.

After a latenight review meeting we head to the clients and spend the next two days asking questions, cruching data and testing ideas. While we respect as intatly valuable we do this with little regard to politics, preconcived idea or scarid ideas. 

Data collection compleate we retreat back to our tempory office to review the data and being drafting an implimtation plan. This plan offten includes a narrowing of fouce, techinical automations, clarifaction of outbound communicaitons, outsourcing of work, and team changes. 

Implimtation plan in hand we spend the last 4 days implmenting the changes in quite agressive format. 

Here is a MindMap of the idea: 

The Role of Personal Experience and the Buddha’s Wager

b. The Role of Personal Experience and the Buddha’s Wager

In contrast to Brahmanic dogmatism, the Buddha of the Pāli Nikāyas did not claim to be omniscient (M.I.482); in fact, he proposed a critical attitude toward all sources of knowledge. In the Majjhima Nikāya (II.170-1), the Buddha challenges Brahmins who accept Vedic scriptures out of faith (saddhā) and oral tradition (anussava); he compares those who blindly follow scripture and tradition without having direct knowledge of what they believe with “a file of blind men each in touch with the next: the first one does not see, the middle one does not see, and the last one does not see.” The Buddha also warns Brahmins against knowledge based on likeability or emotional inclination (ruci), reflection on reasons (ākāraparivitakka), and consideration of theories (diṭṭhinijjhānakkhanti). These five sources of knowledge may be either true or false; that is, they do not provide conclusive grounds to claim dogmatically that “only this is true, anything else is wrong.”

http://www.iep.utm.edu/buddha/

Buddhism Questions

Many of these questions are based on my experience at the Ann Arbor Zen Buddhist Temple. 

  • Seeking refuge implies a desire for something different.  Desire in unhelpful. How do these ideas of refuge and desire relate to each other? In relation to the three refuges. 
  • Is there an active personhood of the Buddha? 
  • When taking refuge in the Buddha is someone taking refuge in a personal deity, conceptual construct or set of principles which lead to less suffering? Is there a current tense entity of the Buddha? 
  • Is this true? Mahayana tradition is about the 4 fold path where the Truvada Tridion is about sunyata, emptiness.
  • Is enlightenment a definable point in time?
  • Would you explain the relationship of Humanistic Buddhism, and Secular Buddhism, and Engaged Buddhism to one another?
  • What does it mean to "enter the non-dual gate of inconceivable liberation"? In relation to taking precepts. 
  • It Wheel of Life and rebirth (a universe with several realms of existence, where people are reborn and die again and again (saṃsāra) depending on their past actions (karma) until they attain salvation (mokṣa).) a key feature of Buddhism? 

Temple Questions

  • What does the org chart look like in this Buddhist group? 
  • What happens after the Ven Samu Sunim dies? 
  • What happens after Haju dies? 
  • How is a 5 point prostration done? 
  • Is the Ven. Samu Sunim a deity? 
    • No. He is a wise man which makes him worthy of veneration.